سوال

I need a fatwa regarding this matter so I can convince my husband to fulfil my rights as a wife. I have been separated from my husband for a year. Now I came back to Pakistan on 13th November 2024. There were many incidents that led to this decision. The incidents include such details which I can only narrate over a direct call. If that’s possible kindly let me know so you may have an idea of what I suffered at my in-laws. My husband has 5 more siblings, they all live in the same house. The room I have been living in with my in-laws was at their roof with an attached bathroom and the small area where the stairs start from was given to me as a kitchen which had no lights (a lamp only) no ventilation no fan that too in the scorching heat of Qatar. No locks allowed, no separate entrance. Poor living conditions. All broken furniture, old broken mattress. Lizards and insects and what not to deal with in that room along with my toddler son. Although, I myself come from a house where I had all what you may call the comforts of life. I had never cooked, cleaned or did any house chores myself before marriage. We have a driver, servant and maids for all these tasks at home and outside home. My husband gets a separate allowance from his company if he keeps his wife and son with him. A very handsome housing allowance which is equal to his basic salary. He will have to spend nothing if he gets a separate house but his parents are not letting him so he says he can’t do it because of them, if I want I can live in that same room, that is enough otherwise I can keep staying at my parents/brothers house in Pakistan as it provides me all the comforts. In my 5 years of marriage, I have lived a total of 1 year and 6 months with my husband, the rest I have lived with my parents in Pakistan. I did not demand a separate house because of the conditions of that room on the roof but because of constant oppression and interference by my in-laws and my husband playing right into their hands and mistreating me to the extremes, which I can only tell over a direct phone call. Now I only want is my son and I to have a separate space of our OWN where we can live in peace away from my in laws and my husband to provide for us and not torture me emotionally, mentally and PHYSICALLY in front of my in laws and my son who is now 4 years old. I’ve been in constant depression since years now and have developed health problems due to it.

اَلجَوَابْ بِاسْمِ مُلْہِمِ الصَّوَابْ

The relationship of marriage (Nikah) in Islam is not a mere contract; rather it is responsibility for peace (Sukun), mercy (Rahmah), and justice (Insāf). Both the husband and the wife hold specific rights (Huqooq) over one another. To lead a happy and peaceful life, it is essential that the couple not only enjoy their rights but also maintain mutual trust and respect (Takrīm) and ensure a balance in delivering the rights of all other people. They must always keep the Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) domestic life as a noble example (Uswa-e-Hasanah) before them. They ought to show generosity of spirit, practice forgiveness (Dar-Guzar), and treat each other with the highest degree of kindness (Husn-e-Sulook) and reverence (Ehtirām). The conduct of the Mother of the Believers, Hazrat Aisha (RA), and the Prophet's (PBUH) own exemplary treatment of his wives serve as a shining model and the best course of action (Lā'iha-e-'Amal) for the Ummah regarding domestic life. Both spouses must be caring for each other, they mutually enjoy life and cooperate during challenges and difficulties. They must communicate with each other and avoid taking rigid positions or creating deadlocks.

Husband's Responsibilities:

• • • • A husband must always remember that he will be held accountable (Mas'ool) before Allah concerning the physical and mental protection of his wife. Being a husband, he must always remember this golden saying of The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) about wives, who stated:

"خيركم خيركم لأهله ، وأنا خيركم لأهلي" (The best among you is the one who is best to his family (wife, children, relatives, and servants), and I am the best among you to my family.)

• • • • The provision of a separate dwelling—equipped with basic necessities such as at least one separate room, a toilet, and a kitchen—is a fundamental marital right guaranteed by Shariah.

      •  It is his marital responsibility to balance the rights of his parents and his spouse. He must serve his parents without negatively impacting his marital life, and his time and resources must be distributed between both relationships in a balanced way.

Wife's Responsibilities:

• • • •  The wife should also take care of her responsibilities and be realistic. If the husband’s financial status does not permit, she should not demand the same luxuries or extravagant lifestyle she had at her father’s home. Instead of luxury, she should prioritize peace and well-being (Afiyah), modesty (Purdah), and basic necessities.

      • She must never stop her husband from serving or spending on his parents, nor should she harbor suspicions (Soo-e-Zann) in this regard, for their service, as these parents are his gateway to Paradise.

      • If the husband guarantees a separate, secure, and lockable portion (even if it is within a shared building), the wife is advised to return and settle in the marital home for the sake of the children's future.

صحيح مسلم – 1468

عن أبي هريرة ، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ، قال : " من كان يؤمن بالله ، واليوم الآخر ، فإذا شهد أمرا فليتكلم بخير أو ليسكت ، واستوصوا بالنساء ، فإن المرأة خلقت من ضلع ، وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع ، أعلاه إن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته ، وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج ، استوصوا بالنساء خيرا " .

جامع الترمذي – 1163

عن سليمان بن عمرو بن الأحوص ، قال : حدثني أبي ، أنه شهد حجة الوداع مع رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فحمد الله ، وأثنى عليه ، وذكر ووعظ ، فذكر في الحديث قصة ، فقال : " ألا واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا ، فإنما هن عوان عندكم ليس تملكون منهن شيئا ، غير ذلك إلا أن يأتين بفاحشة مبينة ، فإن فعلن فاهجروهن في المضاجع ، واضربوهن ضربا غير مبرح ، فإن أطعنكم فلا تبغوا عليهن سبيلا ، ألا إن لكم على نسائكم حقا ، ولنسائكم عليكم حقا ، فأما حقكم على نسائكم ، فلا يوطئن فرشكم من تكرهون ، ولا يأذن في بيوتكم لمن تكرهون ، ألا وحقهن عليكم ، أن تحسنوا إليهن في كسوتهن وطعامهن " .

صحيح البخاري – 3237

حدثنا مسدد ، حدثنا أبو عوانة ، عن الأعمش ، عن أبي حازم ، عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه ، قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : " إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فأبت فبات غضبان عليها لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح " تابعه شعبة ، وأبو حمزة ، وابن داود ، وأبو معاوية ، عن الأعمش .

سنن ابن ماجه – 1854

حدثنا أبو بكر بن أبي شيبة ، حدثنا محمد بن فضيل ، عن أبي نصر عبد الله بن عبد الرحمن ، عن مساور الحميري ، عن أمه ، قالت : سمعت أم سلمة ، تقول سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، يقول : " أيما امرأة ماتت وزوجها عنها راض دخلت الجنة " .

البناية شرح الهداية(694/5)

ونفقة الاولاد الصغار على الأب لا يشاركه فيها أحد كما لا يشاركه في نفقة الزوجية ؛ لقوله تعالى" وعلى المولود رزقهن وكسوتهن “(البقرة : ۲۳۳) ، والمولود له هو ا الصغير رضيعاً ، فليس على أمه أن ترضعه؛ لما بينا أن الكفاية على الأب. وأجرة الرضاع كالنفقة ؛
ولأنها عساها لا تقدر عليه لعذر بها ، فلا معنى للجبر عليه .

الدر المختارمع رد المحتار(333/5):

قال في البحر فالحاصل أن الفرقة إما من قبله أو من قبلها، فلو من قبله فلها النفقة مطلقاً سواء كانت بمعصية أو لا طلاقاً أو فسخاً، وإن كانت من قبلها فإن كانت بمعصية فلا نفقة لها ولها السكنى في جميع الصور اهـ

الدر المختارمع رد المحتار(262/1)

(وكذا تجب لها السكنى في بيت خال عن أَهْلِهِ) طفله الذي لا يفهم الجماع وأمته وأم ولده (وأهلها) ولو ولدها من غيره بقدر حالهما كطعام وكسوة وبيت منفرد من دار له غلق زاد في الاختيار والعيني: ومرافق، ومراده لزوم كنيف ومطبخ وينبغي الإفتاء به( بحر)(كفاها) لحصول المقصود. (هداية). وفي البَحْر عن (الخانية): يُشترط أن لا يكونَ في الدّار أحد من أحماء الزوج يؤذيها، ونقل المصنف عن الملتقط كفايته مع مع الضرائر، فلكل من زوجتيه مطالبته ببيت من دار على حدة.