سوال

Respected Muftis of , Jamia Tur Rasheed Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh, I wish to present that I have been extremely worried for the past two years due to certain problems, and I request your guidance for a Shar‘i (Islamic legal) solution to them. I am originally from Karachi, Pakistan, but for several years now I have been living abroad. I have been married for twenty-four years, and I am the mother of four children. My husband’s once-successful business gradually came to an end. Along with that, there were issues of magic and sorcery. We tried many treatments, but nothing worked. For the past year, while living in the same house, my husband has completely separated from me. He moved away from my bed, has completely stopped talking to me, and also told me not to do anything for him—such as serving his food, washing his clothes, or taking care of his belongings. I tried to repair relations, but all efforts failed. He is not fulfilling my rights, nor am I able to fulfill his. The reasons behind these conditions are as follows: About two years ago, my husband put a lock on his phone so that our son, who was addicted to playing games on it, would not misuse it. He told me not to unlock it without his permission. After a few days, he was leaving home for some work, and he told me to unlock the phone and give it to our son, but he did not specify for how long. Later, I unlocked the phone and gave it to my son. I should clarify here that in the past also, the phone was locked many times, and after a while I used to unlock it again. So the next day, when my son brought the phone to me, I unlocked it and gave it to him. Shortly after, my husband came to me in a state of extreme anger and said, “Who gave you permission to unlock the phone?” I replied, “You told me yesterday, so I did it.” This matter escalated so much that it led to physical assault. When my daughter opposed this injustice, my husband cut ties with her too. Now the house is divided into two parts—on one side it is me and my daughter, and on the other side are my husband, my 16-year-old son, and my 9-year-old daughter. Even while living in the same house, we are separated. My children no longer speak to their own mother. Their hearts have been filled with such hatred for me that even if I were to die, they would feel no grief. They insult me, beat me, call me with filthy words—and my husband listens to all of this, but not once does he stop them, let alone scold them. In the house, only my husband is respected. The mother has no respect at all. If I try to stop the children from doing something wrong, they misbehave with me. They only listen to their father. The same children for whom their mother stands day and night to protect them from hardship— this mother has been stripped of all respect. Even a servant is treated with more dignity. Abuse and foul language are used in the house as though it means nothing. Other issues also keep arising at home, because of which the environment remains spoiled, and I am constantly in mental distress. My husband has also cut ties with our daughter. This is because she said, wrong is wrong and spoke the truth and stood up for justice. Now she is punished for it. Whenever there is conflict, my husband runs to beat her, threatens her angrily to leave the house and arrange her own shelter, and keeps finding excuses to hurt her physically and mentally. He has even told my son to grab her by the hair and hit her. So whenever a fight breaks out, she is made the target. Recently she was punched and badly bruised in the eye by her brother and father. Apart from basic meals, we are deprived of any extra food or drink items that come into the house. We have no social contact with any relatives. I do not meet anyone from my in-laws, nor from my own family. Even here abroad, I have no social connections with anyone. Hatred has been planted among the children themselves, and all of them are cut off from one another. Even before all of this, there were some mental tensions due to my parents’ inheritance. About three years ago, because of financial difficulties, my husband told me to demand my inheritance share from my siblings. When I did, I realized that my siblings did not want to divide the inheritance. My husband pressured me to force them so I could get my right. Since I was abroad, I could only communicate by phone. Discussions escalated into arguments and fights, but still I did not receive my share. Today I am cut off from all my siblings. In order to claim my right, I took steps that I never wanted to take—I even fought with them. Still my husband was not happy, because he wanted me to go to my relatives in person and press them. I did not consider that appropriate at all, because I know my relatives. They would not take any action; they would only make a spectacle of us. Besides this, fights keep happening in the house, especially among the children, because of the hatred that has been instilled in them against me and my daughter. They do not let any opportunity pass without conflict, and because of this my mental peace is completely destroyed. Despite everything, I still want to keep the house together. That is why I am showing patience and am willing to extend my hand for reconciliation—but from my husband’s side there is no inclination whatsoever. Therefore, I humbly ask: 1. Are my husband’s actions correct in all of this? 2. Is it permissible to turn the children’s hearts against their mother and cut them off from her? 3. Is it correct to sow hatred among brothers and sisters and make them cut ties with one another? I request the respected Muftis to guide me—where am I wrong, where is my husband wrong, and in the light of Shari‘ah, what rulings apply to both of us? JazakAllahu Khayran. From: Samreen Cape Town, South Africa

اَلجَوَابْ بِاسْمِ مُلْہِمِ الصَّوَابْ

The bond of marriage (Nikah) is not merely a contract between two individuals; it is the very foundation of an entire family. To ensure this relationship is protected and flourishes, it is essential to practice mutual forgiveness and kindness (Muruwwah). When spouses neglect their obligations (Huquq al-Zawjayn) and allow their ego to prevail, the peace of the home is compromised, leading to persistent conflict. The only way to rectify (islah) this situation is for each individual to engage in self-reflection (Muhasabah) regarding their own shortcomings and fulfill their duties according to Sharia. In this way, the home is transformed back into a sanctuary where divine peace and tranquility (Sakinah) reside.

If the details provided are accurate, all family members must remember that Islam has ordained specific rights (Huquq) for spouses, parents, children, and siblings. Violating these rights and committing oppression and violence (Zulm)—especially against daughters and sisters—is a severe sin and a cause of darkness on the Day of Resurrection. Therefore, the husband, as the protector and head of the household (Qawwam), and the children, in light of the high status given to parents (especially the mother), must fear Allah regarding their conduct.

Shar’iah-wise, the primary responsibility of a wife is to obey her husband within permissible limits, seek his pleasure, and manage the internal affairs of the home. A husband’s satisfaction is a significant means of attaining Paradise (Jannah). Therefore, you should take the initiative to apologize to your husband and make amends for any past shortcomings in fulfilling his rights. Focus on serving him and caring for his needs so that your value is restored in his heart and your status is elevated before Allah. Even if circumstances do not change immediately, do not lose heart, remain steadfast (Istiqamah) and continue these efforts consistently.

Along with this, ensure you pray the five daily prayers (Salah). Regularly perform two Raka’at of Prayer of Need (Salah al-Hajah) and supplicate (Du’a) for the rectification (Islah) of your situation. After every obligatory prayer (Fard Salah), recite the following verse from Surah al-Anfal 11 times: وَ اَلَّفَ بَيْنَ قُلُوْبِهِمْ ۚ لَوْ اَنْفَقْتَ مَا فِي الْاَرْضِ جَمِيْعًا مَّا اَلَّفْتَ بَيْنَ قُلُوْبِهِمْ وَ لٰكِنَّ اللّٰهَ اَلَّفَ بَيْنَهُمْ ۚ اِنَّهُ عَزِيْزٌ حَكِيْمٌ

Additionally, write "بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم" six hunderd times and keep it with yourself, and make it a routine to recite "یَا وَدُوْدُ " (O Most Loving) 1,400 times after the Night Prayer (Isha). (A’maal-e-Qur’ani by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (RA)). In sha Allah, through the fulfillment of these rights and the blessings of these spiritual practices, Allah will restore love and tranquility (taskeen) to your home.

 صحيح البخاري – 2409

حدثنا أبو اليمان، أخبرنا شعيب، عن الزهري، قال : أخبرني سالم بن عبد الله، عن عبد الله بن عمررضي الله عنهما ، أنه سمع رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، يقول : " كلكم راع ومسئول عن رعيته ، فالإمام راع وهو مسئول عن رعيته ، والرجل في أهله راع وهو مسئول عن رعيته ، والمرأة في بيت زوجها راعية وهي مسئولة عن رعيتها ، والخادم في مال سيده راع وهو مسئول عن رعيته "، قال : فسمعت هؤلاء من رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، وأحسب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ، قال : والرجل في مال أبيه راع وهو مسئول عن رعيته ، فكلكم راع وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته .

 سنن أبي داود – 5217

حدثنا الحسن بن علي , وابن بشار , قالا : حدثنا عثمان بن عمر , أخبرنا إسرائيل , عن ميسرة بن حبيب , عن المنهال بن عمرو , عن عائشة بنت طلحة , عن أم المؤمنين عائشة رضي الله عنها , أنها قالت : " ما رأيت أحدا كان أشبه سمتا وهديا ودلا , وقال الحسن : حديثا وكلاما , ولم يذكر الحسن السمت والهدي والدل برسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم , من فاطمة كرم الله وجهها كانت إذا دخلت عليه , قام إليها فأخذ بيدها , وقبلها , وأجلسها في مجلسه , وكان إذا دخل عليها , قامت إليه , فأخذت بيده , فقبلته واجلسته في مجلسها "

 صحيح البخاري – 5971

حدثنا قتيبة بن سعيد ، حدثنا جرير ، عن عمارة بن القعقاع بن شبرمة ، عن أبي زرعة، عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه ، قال : جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فقال : يا رسول الله ، من أحق الناس بحسن صحابتي ؟ قال : " أمك " قال : ثم من ؟ قال : " ثم أمك " قال : ثم من ؟ قال : " ثم أمك " قال : ثم من ؟ قال : " ثم أبوك " ، وقال ابن شبرمة ، ويحيى بن أيوب ، حدثنا أبو زرعة، مثله .

 مسند أحمد بن حنبل – 1683

حدثنا يحيى بن إسحاق ، حدثنا ابن لهيعة ، عن عبيد الله بن أبي جعفر ، أن ابن قارظ أخبره ، عن عبد الرحمن بن عوف ، قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : " إذا صلت المرأة خمسها ، وصامت شهرها ، وحفظت فرجها ، وأطاعت زوجها ، قيل لها ادخلي الجنة من أي أبواب الجنة شئت".