سوال

I am 17 years old and the son of a renowned MBBS doctor. A girl who is 18 years old is the daughter of a businessman who deals in the fruit business. Her mom likes me and wants me to be her son-in-law in the future. We are both in the 10th standard at the same school. I want to be an Islamic scholar, so I just want to pass my 10th grade, and she wants good marks. Her father is a sheikh, but her grandfather was poor. My father has "Ansari" in his title, but my family says that we are Sheikh because no one in my grandfather's region is Ansari, and my grandfather's name was Ansar, so my father's title became Ansari. We are a reputed family in society, as is hers.

I don't know the total wealth of my father or her father, but we live in our own homes separately from our uncles, and she lives in a joint family with her uncles and aunts, as they have separate floors in the same building (house). We are both good-looking, fair-skinned, intelligent, and practicing Muslims. I have a beard, and she covers herself. We both pray five times a day, and our grandfathers were Muslims as well.

1. Based on this, is there compatibility between us? Am I compatible with her?
2. We did marry each other in the presence of two witnesses (who are Muslims), and I did the ijab, and she accepted it (qabul). Is our nikah valid?
3. If a man enters into a nikah under these circumstances, what does Islam say about this? Should the man spend time with his wife or avoid doing so until he obtains the consent of her official guardian? What would please Allah more in this case: should the husband stop talking to and meeting his wife until the official marriage is recognized, or should he meet her, give her love and care, and fulfill her rights as a wife?

Clarification:

         1.Mehar was 5000 INR , now he had 10,000 more to pay.

2. normal mehar in these familes is above 50,000 and below 100,000 INR.

اَلجَوَابْ بِاسْمِ مُلْہِمِ الصَّوَابْ

The preferred method of marriage is to conduct it publicly, without secrecy, in the presence of witnesses. According to Imam Malik, a marriage performed in secrecy without announcement is invalid. Similarly, if a girl marries without the consent of her guardians, this is not considered a preferable way to marry. According to the Shafi'i, Maliki, and Hanbali schools of thought, such a marriage is considered invalid.

In the Hanafi school, according to Imam Muhammad, this marriage would be contingent upon the approval of the guardians; if they consent, it would be valid otherwise, it would be invalid.Other Hanafi scholars regard such a marriage as undesirable and shameful. They classify the situation as follows: if someone proceeds with this act, , if the marriage is conducted with compatibility and with a mahr-e-misal (minimum dowry), it is considered valid .if it lacks compatibility, the marriage is deemed invalid If it is not conducted with a mahr-e-misal, it is valid, but the girl's guardians have the right to object. The husband must either fulfill the mahr-e-misal, or the marriage may be annulled through the court by the guardians.

While your marriage may not have been ideal, it is valid due to the compatibility between both of you and the presence of witnesses. However, since this nikah was not conducted with a mahr-e-misal, the girl's guardians retain the right to object.

Sharia does not encourage ending a marriage once it has occurred. However, it is advisable to avoid any meetings or relationships until you have the guardian’s permission and a formal marriage. When your family and community are unaware of your marriage, your interactions could harm your reputation and your family's honor. In our society, such situations are often viewed negatively and can bring shame to the entire family, potentially leading to complications and disputes in your relationship. Therefore, approach your family for an official marriage without revealing your secret nikah.

الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (1/ 185):

‌ولا ‌ينعقد ‌نكاح ‌المسلمين ‌إلا ‌بحضور ‌شاهدين ‌حرين ‌عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا أو غير عدول أو محدودين في القذف " قال رضي الله عنه اعلم أن الشهادة شرط في باب النكاح لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام " لا نكاح إلا بشهود .

الموسوعة الفقهية الكويتية (11/ 253):

المرأة البالغة العاقلة الحرة الرشيدة لا يجوز لها تزويج نفسها، بمعنى أنها لا تباشر العقد بنفسها، وإنما يباشره الولي عند جمهور الفقهاء، لحديث لا نكاح إلا بولي  وروي عن عائشة رضي الله عنها عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال: أيما امرأة نكحت بغير إذن وليها فنكاحها باطل، فنكاحها باطل، فنكاحها باطل، فإن دخل بها فلها المهر بما استحل من فرجها، فإن تشاجروا فالسلطان ولي من لا ولي له  ولقوله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا تنكح المرأة المرأة، ولا تنكح المرأة نفسها….

أما الحنفية: ……ولها أن تعقد النكاح بنفسها. ففي الهداية: ينعقد نكاح الحرة العاقلة البالغة برضاها، وإن لم يعقد عليها ولي، بكرا كانت أو ثيبا عند أبي حنيفة وأبي يوسف في ظاهر الرواية. وعن أبي يوسف أنه لا ينعقد إلا بولي. وعند محمد ينعقد موقوفا. ووجه الجواز: أنها تصرفت في خالص حقها وهي من أهله؛ لكونها عاقلة بالغة مميزة، وإنما يطالب الولي بالتزويج كي لا تنسب إلى الوقاحة.

حاشية ابن عابدين (3/ 8):

‌ويندب ‌إعلانه ‌وتقديم ‌خطبة ‌وكونه ‌في ‌مسجد ‌يوم جمعة

(قوله: ويندب إعلانه) أي إظهاره والضمير راجع إلى النكاح بمعنى العقد لحديث الترمذي «أعلنوا هذا النكاح واجعلوه في المساجد واضربوا عليه بالدفوف» فتح.

حاشية ابن عابدين  (3/ 94):

(ولو نكحت بأقل من مهرها ‌فللولي) العصبة (‌الاعتراض حتى يتم) مهر مثلها (أو يفرق) القاضي بينهما دفعا للعار

قوله ‌الاعتراض) أفاد أن العقد صحيح. وتقدم أنها لو تزوجت غير كفء. فالمختار للفتوى رواية الحسن أنه لا يصح العقد، ولم أر من ذكر مثل هذه الرواية هنا، ومقتضاه أنه لا خلاف في صحة العقد، ولعل وجهه أنه يمكن الاستدراك هنا بإتمام مهر المثل، بخلاف عدم الكفاءة والله تعالى أعلم.